homo superior blogs

I thought the whole point of capitalism was to be competitive and not to reward failure. Hasn’t Detroit had enough chances and enough time to fix things?

But Helen says it, oh, about a billion times better than I could:

OK. Now I am all worked up again. Republicans – each and every last one of you – need to reach for the nearest gas pump and then promptly stick it so far up your ass that only Sarah Palin’s “Pipeline From Jesus” can find it. How could you do this to us? An idiot. You put an idiot in charge of things and sat by for EIGHT years while the nation and the world fell apart. And if that wasn’t enough, 58 million of you wanted to replace Laurel with Hardy as the next president. Sweet Jesus if I could jump through this computer screen and slap the crap out of 58 million of you I would.

Everyday is precious. EVERYDAY. And we just pissed away 2,920.

Never again.

And yeah, I’m with her, I’m amazed that so many people could still have voted Republican. After the campaign McCain ran. After whining like a loser over public financing. After Palin. And more of them than ever were gay.

But, we won, so I guess I should shut the fuck up about it.

Government Cheese of a Different Kind « Margaret and Helen

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Here’s Robert Scoble, tech blogger and FriendFeed fanatic, commenting on Louis Gray’s post about Proposition 8:

But this is more about the law than about anything else. Do we all have equal protection and equal rights under the law? Now there I DO care about your position and there I will argue very hard that those who want to take away other people’s rights are doing real harm to society and law itself. You’ll notice that this amendment is trying to change our state’s constitution. Why? To take away other people’s rights.

On that point you either are on the side of light or you are on the side of darkness. Would you have been having this internal debate with yourself if you lived in 1938 Germany? Would you have been having this internal debate if you lived in 1960s North Carolina? Would you have been having this internal debate if you lived in South Africa under Apartheid? I would hope not.The only answer here is to push our friends and the institutions we care about to join the side of light and right.

Scoble is similary earnest and stylistically hyperbolic when he talks about a new technology, and I love him for it.

Louis Gray, another respected tech blogger, related recently on FriendFeed how he skipped church to attend a marriage between a long-time friend of his mother’s and her girlfriend. At the time, I’d hoped he would write a post about it because he has a unique perspective and a warm blogging voice, even when’s he’s writing about Web 2.0 startups. He’s also Mormon and in his post he talks about the conflict he feels between being a Democrat, having close gay friends, and knowing that his church leadership has been one of the most vocal supporters of Proposition 8. It’s balanced, thoughful and very human. Gray is a valuable blogger, beyond his impact and influence on social media.

Also of interest is this post, in which a heterosexual male talks about supporting gay issues while he was in high school and taking shit for it. He also lays out a very good argument against Prop 8.

Why does it seem like the most vocal and eloquent opponents of this measure are straight? But anyway, it’s about time.

louisgray.com: Prop 8 Tangles Religion, Tech and Politics

[Someday I'll get around to explaining how someone like me could have come around so passionately on the side of gay marriage, when I doubt its acceptance will ever have any direct impact on my life. Yeah, someday.]

As the author of the most popular single-person political blog on the planet, Andrew Sullivan oughta know a thing or two about what blogging means and where it’s going. I don’t even know him and I’m proud of him. And jealous! I wanna be on Bill Maher’s show!

Along with his indispensable and profoundly moral essay on the abolition of torture, I have a hunch that this essay, but maybe not the glasses he’s wearing, will stand the test of time. An introductory quote:

For centuries, writers have experimented with forms that evoke the imperfection of thought, the inconstancy of human affairs, and the chastening passage of time. But as blogging evolves as a literary form, it is generating a new and quintessentially postmodern idiom that’s enabling writers to express themselves in ways that have never been seen or understood before. Its truths are provisional, and its ethos collective and messy. Yet the interaction it enables between writer and reader is unprecedented, visceral, and sometimes brutal. And make no mistake: it heralds a golden era for journalism.

Why I Blog – The Atlantic (November 2008)

Emphasis mine.

Blog on.

Even though I’m not going to the Democratic National Convention (as if) – I’d consider it if I could go with Dan Savage – I’m still envious of the description "most offensive" going to the utterly innocuous Towleroad. Sniff sniff.

What? I have to post something nasty about the Pope? OK, I will. Below the quote.

• Catholic League’s Bill Donohue To DNC: Pull Towleroad Credentials – Towleroad, More than gay news for more gay men

  • Donohue called on the Convention CEO Leah Daughtry to "nix" Towleroad and feminist blog Bitch Ph.D.’s media credentials at next week’s convention. According to Donohue, we are the "most offensive" of the more than 120 blogs offered credentials.

At first I thought about taking the word “repurpose” out of my post critiquing Bryan’s Angels post. I had a question about its origin but turned up no results when I searched with OS X’s built-in dictionary, based on The Oxford American Dictionaries.

However, when I was designing portal sites for alternative weeklies, we used the word a lot, in the context of “repurposing content.” [Right now, my inline spellcheck is telling me that repurpose is misspelled. It's also telling me spellcheck is misspelled, so whatever.]

I just Googled repurpose and got 587,000 results. So it appears to be a word, and it’s defined this way by The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language: Fourth Edition:

SYLLABICATION: re·pur·pose
PRONUNCIATION: r-pûrps
TRANSITIVE VERB: Inflected forms: re·pur·posed, re·pur·pos·ing, re·pur·pos·es
To use or convert for use in another format or product: repurposed the book as a compact disk.

Similarly, I thought that numerate, which Bryan used in this post, was an adjective and not a verb. I was wrong about that. But I did look it up first before accusing him.

@Homer Sexual: It’s not clear from your post whether you have, but perhaps you can find the time to read the “less superior” Orwell essays – one of which is available for free online – as I look forward to reading Stephen King’s. Thanks for the torrent.

word count of this post, not including mark-up: 215
character assassination quotient: 0

Well, it’s really not that grand but it is some half-way interesting if basic questions I lobbed electronically across the ocean towards the only blog that consistently makes me laugh out loud. I can’t believe he gets away with saying the shit he does. His answers to my questions were not so incendiary. Blame me.

Homo Superior: Greetings citizen.

I’m doing this off the cuff basically, trying to be funny, and since you’re oh, about a billyun times funnier than me, I’m not sure how well I’ll pull it off. But here goes. Only 10 or so.

HP: Just how big a retarded cunt is Diane Feinstein? Related: How retarded are the Democrats right now? Please vent. (Sorry, I was reading HuffPo and getting all angry and shit.)

Can o’ Whup-Ass: It’s hard for me to vent about the dems right now. sure, they’re all politicians and therefore a lower life form, but they are DEFINITELY the lesser of two evils right now. in the run-up to ‘08, the smart dems are playing it right down the center, where the vote is. what we need are more, viable parties to force them all into a specific ideology that they won’t turn around and betray. I don’t know Feinstein. She strikes me as a broad who’d be a hilarious drunk.

Feinstein basically caved on torture in the Mukaskey confirmation, or however that asshole’s name is spelled. They were elected to put things right but they’re too cowardly.

So did Chuck Shumer. The whole thing makes me sad to tell you the truth. I think the whole waterboarding conversation was bad for the US. The world is watching and we look just awful, don’t we?

How hard is it to live in America now generally and NYC in particular?

Well I’ve never lived outside of the US and I’ve been in NYC since ‘87. Don’t have a huge frame of reference. That said, I’m pretty certain that the quality of life is much nicer elsewhere.

HP: What made you start blogging? And is Can o’ Whup-Ass your first?

I started blogging to keep writing. I’m a playwright and to work on a play I need complete silence and at least 4 hours of uninterrupted juice-stewing. I can blog at work and it keeps that muscle flexed.

Oh I like the sound of that…

Is it hard to be funny every day? It would drive me nuts.

It can be. sometimes my posts are lame. But sometimes I hit the bull’s eye. I spend about an hour a day finding the story on which I think I can put a funny spin.

Is your humor somehow related to what you do for a living or it is just an outlet?

My humor is something I’ve always had. It’s the easiest thing in the world for me to write a joke. But I do work with ass-hats who unwittingly provide inspiration.

So you said that you are a playwright…?

Well I’ve been doing it for a while and actually make money at it occasionally. A play of mine called “The 13 Hallucinations of Julio Rivera” had a major west coast production a few years ago and is gearing up to have a NYC production soon. I won a commission earlier this year and I’m spending my weekends writing so I can make the deadline. I have an agent and a decent reputation but it’s not paying the mortgage yet.

Do you pay attention to statistics and if so how many hits do you get per day? Do you worry about that shit like I do?

Yes, I’m a hits whore. Ya gotta be. It’s excellent feed-back. I get around 1500 per day now, and I want to get a lot more before I go tarting myself out for ad space.

i’m all jealous now. since google slapped that content warning my hits have dropped from 1800 or so to 1000. paranoid americans. they see CONTENT WARNING and think the feds are watching them or child porn or something.

Oh bitch stop your whining. Your base audience clicks right through that warning. your 1000 hits are interested hits. I’d say it’s pretty decent. Half of my hits are poor souls who googled ass-sex and found themselves mired in the profoundly retarded cesspool of Whup-Ass.

Do you ever get hate mail or hate comments? What’s the most retarded comment/e-mail you’ve ever received?

I LOVE HATE MAIL! I want more of it! The most retarded was a woman who was actually defending a paper that published the pictures, names and addresses of men caught wanking in a park. She left a long-ass rant. If she was any dumber you’d have to water her once a week.

That comment is still up? I want to read it.

Yes it’s still there, I edited it for length. It’s in the “Kristen Swing Totally Wants to Hear From You” post.

So, This Week in Poop…WTF? Don’t misunderstand me, it’s one of your funniest features but…

TWIP started because I found a few stories on the subject one day and decided to…um…lump them together. It’s totally juvenile and gross. Next question.

Do you like my new masthead or is it too mid 1990s design geeky? Be kind.

Dude, you work in porn. Isn’t it supposed to be cheesy? I like it, actually.

I wish i was still doing porn. running out of boys who want to do it for free. because, ya know, i have no budget. yes, those videos were all done by boys doing me a favor. but i take the point. thinking of going more legit since google has censored me. losing 800 people in less than two weeks is a real blow.

Again, get off the cross. Joan of Ark did less whining on her way to the stake. I think you should be making money from your site, especially for the videos. Do a pay per view live cam with some of your more eager-to-please buddies. Cut them in on the action. And if you know that blonde bruiser, tell him I have a crush on him.

Last one, and I ask this question of everyone: Have you ever paid for sex and if so how was it?

I’ve gotten offers but no.

Here I was hoping for something juicy and illicit. Thanks, WAM!

That’s all, bitches!

[Rick's note: The bitch just sent me his pic, up there at the top; now I now why he's never had to pay for sex.]

I think I met Mr Rader some time ago, when I was forced to attend some faggy theatre production because my talented boyfriend at the time was in it. They’re both actor/singers. Still, musicals in general creep me out. Hilarious homosexuals do not.

My favorite is about Elaine Stritch blowing the Devil in a cabaret bar, cross-posted on the incomparable Dirk Mancuso’s blog. But you wouldn’t want to miss this Halloween post either.

I hate these funnier-than-me bloggers!

@Bryan aka Homer Sexual

The reason why I didn’t specifically address your “unpacking” of my “review” is because your “arguments” are beneath my notice. Generally, it takes three or four attempts over the course of several days for me to wade through your prose anyway; so by the time I’m finished reading, I’m exhausted. Especially since nothing, absolutely nothing, about your style is direct or clear or on point.

I don’t know whether that’s the way your mind reasons naturally or if there’s something else at work. I suspect the latter. But I really don’t know. There’s no point in countering what I view as – sorry to be so blunt – near-lunatic ravings.

I thought that would be implicit in my post. I addressed a triviality concerning definitions. Partly as a jibe towards your own tendency to nitpick; partly because it’s clear you write shit out of hand; but also because I find the effort to take seriously what you say a waste of time. So it was a bit of a joke, which you proved was all on you by responding with 3,745 words of belabored falderol. (Goddess, discovering that word-count made me laugh out loud. Cackle, really.)

3,745 words!

I’m not that clever but wow, you’re making me look it.

P.S. Since you’re not going to publish either of the two comments in which I make this point, I’ll make it here.

You called me a “duplicitous sociopath,” a “worthless person” who was “beyond redemption.” You also stated in a comment on your own post that I was a “duplicitous asshole son of a lying bitch.” Not only did you insult me but you insulted my dead mother, who was actually more of an asshole than a bitch, goddess rest her soul.

So no, I don’t think refusing to read your e-mails or banning you from commenting on my blog is really all that unreasonable. You, in whatever diverse and scary reality you may now be broadcasting from, think differently. I’m happy I don’t live, nor write from, anywhere near you.

word count: 344
character assassination quotient, on a scale of 1-10: Ooo, that’s a tough one for this post, snarky as it is…I’ll have to say at least 4.